Carpe Diem – Today’s the day!

(Or at least it was the day, when I started writing this sometime last year! Sure, I could just not have told you that. But that would be lying wouldn’t it? Plus I no longer smoke, which I told you last time round. And since we’re basing our relationship on wholehearted honesty… it was easier to write this than go down and re-edit the blog!)

(Feel free to comment below, your opinions are always great to read!)


Good Morning World! You hear that sound? That’s the sound of your alarm going off, repeatedly. Wailing into your ear socket as you fumble around in search of the snooze button; and right on cue you hear that little voice in the back of your head. “Another five minutes will be grand.” And you roll back over, pulling the covers over your head as you fall into a sleep so comfortable it’s hard to believe. Now, normally I would agree with that little voice, heck I’d even go so far as to endorse it! But not today! Why not? Just not!

I sit here with my trusty friend that takes the shape of my morning coffee, its steam amalgamating with the smoke from my cigarette. “Oh no, he smokes! How dare he!” Yes yes how dare I? But today’s not a day for our petty indifferences. No sir! Today is the day to seize the world, take that ball of a thing you call your life out of the rubbish bin it’s been slowly rotting away in, and actually do something with it!

For today is the day for ignoring that little voice in the back of your head. What happened to all those dreams you’re saving for a rainy day, because “You’re too busy” or “It’s simply not the right time?” How about that novel you keep shelving? Or that business idea you keep putting off? It’s up to you how you phrase the excuse, but just remember, that’s exactly what it is. An excuse. I mean it might sound a bit hypocritical if you’ve read my last blog. You might be thinking, “Here’s another one of those self-righteous hypocrites. How dare he tell me what to do!” But these blogs are here for me. Not you. I’m talking to myself in the third person. And who knows, tomorrow is another day and for all I know I might be back to my couch pondering the meaning of life. But tomorrow is tomorrow and today is today.

Sure there are others sleeping those extra minutes away. But there are also the people who rise and grind. The people who by the time you have read this, will have written their three thousand words and had their Eggs Benedict for breakfast.

So you hear that sound? That’s the sound of your alarm going off, echoing in your ear. It’s also the sound of the clock ticking and the world turning. So the question is, “Is today the day?” It all starts with that morning coffee. (cigarette optional.)





Another Year, Another… Blog?

So it’s been almost a year since my last blog post. And that pretty sums up my writing career this past year; for does not the saying go, “a writer who doesn’t write is no writer at all.” (Don’t quote me on that.) But if we’re being honest with each other, amongst the flow of opinions and constant bombardment of information, nobody really even noticed… did they?

Another year another… dollar?

Quite literally… another dollar! This year was less like the scene from an original superman movie I had imagined… (Clark Kent darting down the street and ripping off his shirt to reveal the Superman Crest emblazoned across his chest, before flying off to fight crime and bring justice to the oh-so-cruel world. Me being Superman, the street being the world, and the liberation of the crest being my career)… Instead, in the spirit of all things Star Wars, it was more like a day in the life of Jabba the Hutt! I.e. My career stayed fairly stagnant, my love-life fluctuated between hands, and even the Fantastic Four remake had a more successful 2015 than I did!

Yes, 2015 was plain and simply, uneventful. Which is the worst kind of eventful! (Example: Remember your third cousins wife’s sisters wedding that you went to, and it actually finished on time… exactly! Because even boring is memorable.) My year, however, was not! I spent much of the year either broke or completely broke, dependent on the day of the week. My commitment fluctuated between not writing and thinking about writing. And my fitness generally hinged back and forth on the number of cigarettes I inhaled daily- and a bet with a friend which went something like… “I can train for a marathon better than you, but I have no intention of ever running that marathon… just beating you in training.” … A bet which we both failed relatively soon after embarking on it.

Another year, another… broken promise?

But they do say to start the year as you mean to go on… Of course, the saying doesn’t include the New Year countdown… does it? Of course not… I mean, how could this “New You” start when you’ve spent the last three three hours knocking back thought provoking shots of zambooca? No… whoever coined that phrase obviously meant that the new you begins on the 2nd of January! So, as of the second of January (of course), it’s a fresh start.

Another year, another… challenge?

Will it be another year of exhaustive couch-based activities, telling yourself that the “real you” starts in the morning? The only remaining friend in the world that won’t judge you sat comfortably beside you in the form of an empty packet of Jaffa Cakes; with your dog officially demoted to the kitchen as even he now stares at you with those deep sunken judgemental eyes.

We’re all going to face new challenges this year, in fact I’ve already found finishing this blog a huge challenge. But look at me go, huh? (What’s that about self-praise again?) But the question remains, what challenges are you going to take on this year? (I mean throwing paper balls across the room can be a challenge if you want!)

Another year, another… ____ ?

Maybe 2016 is the year of the ‘New You’ fashion range. Maybe it will even come with it’s own scent of perfume and a complimentary Rolls Royce just for show. Or maybe 2016 will be the year of the spoon and melted Hagendaz?

But to put it in the words of Forrest Gump:

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”

So go and dig up those dusty cobwebbed dreams you buried all those years ago! It’s time to prove the world wrong!

(Ironically, you’re going to have to put down that box of chocolates first! Plus, you totally said it in his accent didn’t you? Yeah you did!)



*Note to readers: The last thing the world wants or needs is another New Years post. Because of my own procrastination I began this blog on New Years Eve and have only just put the final strokes to keys as I write this… five days later!

New Year, New You… right?

Hello again world! It’s been a while since my last & only blog, but they do say good things happen to those who wait. I’ve finally decided to once again put pen to paper, or pixels to screen in this case. Yes! The smell of coffee floats delicately on the air while the sound of fingers slapping buttons echoes lightly around the room. And finally, a cigarette smokes silently beside me, a jolly reminder of my broken New Years resolutions! Its smoke fusing with the smell of coffee before wafting out into the ever so cold draft coming from our window.

Yes, what a glorious time of year it is. The Days are getting longer and… well actually, now that I think about it… that’s it really. If you really thought this blog was going to be all chirping birds and yellow flowers you obviously haven’t ready my previous one! But at least it’s no longer December! And don’t worry, I’m not going to start on all that Christmas Spirit Bullshit! No, it is now January, a new Year a New Me; besides, Christmas is sooooooooooooo last year!!! (I know… I know!)

Where was I… oh yes! It is now the 27th of January, and I have finally decided to get up and do something about my life. Although when I say something I really have no idea what that something really is! My mid life crisis’ are frequent and back in full swing, and most of my resolutions are already broken fragments of memories littering the ground. These include but are not limited to:

1. Quit Smoking.
2. Lay off the booze for January.
3. Get up Earlier, Go To Bed Earlier.
4. Find a Real Job.
5. Start Running Again. (Give it time, it’s a long year!)
6. Figure My Life Out.

Of course there are many more resolutions less acceptable for the eyes of the public (and let your minds run rampant) I am following a logic in making so many resolutions though. The more resolutions you make the better the odds are in successfully completing one of them. It’s just statistics if you think about it! Q.E.D.

I’m sure most of you have by now broken many of your own “ressies”, and you are currently sitting at home beating yourself around the head for being such a fuck up. Congratulations! This means you’ve joined me on the track to failure! I was once told, “If you never have standards you’ll never be disappointed.” And if you think about that for a moment, it makes actually makes complete sense.

I’ve been told before that my blog is too pessimistic. But I’m not saying life is all mortars, tequila shots, and empty glasses. But it can sometimes feel like we’re nomads; wandering through mountains, deserts, and sometimes just trudging through miles of thick sludge; as we look for an oasis out there somewhere. A clear path that will lead us to a place we can call home, no matter where it is. Some of you may have already found this, but for those of you who haven’t, I invite you to join my journey as I search through life for something more.

Life Is Not Always Greener

Life is not always greener… as I’m sure many of you have noticed by this point in life, contrary to the fairytale we are brought up being told. By now some things have gone right for you, but most things haven’t. You haven’t gotten that promotion at work, or that dream job. You haven’t retired early to that house in the middle of the countryside that you’ve always wanted. Perhaps you still don’t know what you really want to do, and you see your friends getting married and having children as a sign that you’re internally fucked up; and you hear that little voice in the back of your head saying that you might never get it together. And that if you do, well by that time it’ll probably be too late. By then you’ll be old and alone, with nothing but the tv and the hair protruding from your nose to keep you company. Or maybe I’m wrong. In which case I’d like to invite you to sit down for a chat over coffee. Because if you have the secret formula to happiness… well then, you’d bloody well better share it, because I really haven’t a clue what I’m doing or where I’m going with life. (By the way, seeing as you have it together I hope you’re cool picking up the coffee bill.)

Before I go any further let’s at least get on a first name basis. But seeing as our relationship is new, ( putting it lightly), and I still don’t completely trust you. So for now I’m going incognito and giving you a fake name; a bit like that girl who gave you her number, and then when you called you got a Chinese take away the opposite side of the country… yeah, a bit like that, just a little less sad! So for now, call me John. Ooooh how exciting! Well you can call me what you like, it’s not as if anybody’s going to stop you. And in turn I shall keep referring to you guys as if you’re actually listening to me. Deal?

So then, now that we have established my name where were we… Oh yes! John is the name, I am a 21 year old male, currently living in the beautiful city that is Dublin. (yes I actually like the city I live in, at least that’s a start). In the past 48 hours I have watched 7 movies, put in two 12 hour shifts in bed, and consumed around 9,000 calories i.e. One large pack of cheesy tortilla crisps, one family pack of jellies, a chocolate bar the size of a babies arm, and a large pepperoni pizza… or, breakfast as some of you American’s like to call it! The catalyst for all this was a hard night out on the town with me, myself, and I. Yep that’s right, I went out alone. The end result was me waking up alone at home, in a room that now smelled something like a bar surface after a night of Zambucas and Tequilas.

Now contrary to the image you may have in your head, I am not an overweight guy resembling Jabba the hut! I mean, I didn’t exactly manage to work off those extra mince pies after last Christmas, but that just puts me in the majority! Apart from that, I’m just like every other young man… I watch football and to do guy stuff! That may or may not include the following; running, movies, alcohol, irregularly going to the gym, sitting for long periods on the couch, pondering the meaning of life, and football! It all depends on the day really.

Which brings me on to why I am writing this blog. And the truth is, I’m not completely sure. We’re in an age of tweeting and facebooking, and maybe this just feels a bit more personal. But it’s also because it’s that bit less personal. That you don’t know who I am. That I could be telling you the complete truth or I could be a middle aged house wife with nothing better to do with her days. But whatever the reason is, I think I’ll use this as a place to gather my thoughts and catalogue my attempts to make it in the place that is the big bad world. Who knows… maybe we’ll even have a laugh or two along the way?

But until next time, I’ve a question for you to ponder… Is life really greener on the other side?