So it’s been almost a year since my last blog post. And that pretty sums up my writing career this past year; for does not the saying go, “a writer who doesn’t write is no writer at all.” (Don’t quote me on that.) But if we’re being honest with each other, amongst the flow of opinions and constant bombardment of information, nobody really even noticed… did they?
Another year another… dollar?
Quite literally… another dollar! This year was less like the scene from an original superman movie I had imagined… (Clark Kent darting down the street and ripping off his shirt to reveal the Superman Crest emblazoned across his chest, before flying off to fight crime and bring justice to the oh-so-cruel world. Me being Superman, the street being the world, and the liberation of the crest being my career)… Instead, in the spirit of all things Star Wars, it was more like a day in the life of Jabba the Hutt! I.e. My career stayed fairly stagnant, my love-life fluctuated between hands, and even the Fantastic Four remake had a more successful 2015 than I did!
Yes, 2015 was plain and simply, uneventful. Which is the worst kind of eventful! (Example: Remember your third cousins wife’s sisters wedding that you went to, and it actually finished on time… exactly! Because even boring is memorable.) My year, however, was not! I spent much of the year either broke or completely broke, dependent on the day of the week. My commitment fluctuated between not writing and thinking about writing. And my fitness generally hinged back and forth on the number of cigarettes I inhaled daily- and a bet with a friend which went something like… “I can train for a marathon better than you, but I have no intention of ever running that marathon… just beating you in training.” … A bet which we both failed relatively soon after embarking on it.
Another year, another… broken promise?
But they do say to start the year as you mean to go on… Of course, the saying doesn’t include the New Year countdown… does it? Of course not… I mean, how could this “New You” start when you’ve spent the last three three hours knocking back thought provoking shots of zambooca? No… whoever coined that phrase obviously meant that the new you begins on the 2nd of January! So, as of the second of January (of course), it’s a fresh start.
Another year, another… challenge?
Will it be another year of exhaustive couch-based activities, telling yourself that the “real you” starts in the morning? The only remaining friend in the world that won’t judge you sat comfortably beside you in the form of an empty packet of Jaffa Cakes; with your dog officially demoted to the kitchen as even he now stares at you with those deep sunken judgemental eyes.
We’re all going to face new challenges this year, in fact I’ve already found finishing this blog a huge challenge. But look at me go, huh? (What’s that about self-praise again?) But the question remains, what challenges are you going to take on this year? (I mean throwing paper balls across the room can be a challenge if you want!)
Another year, another… ____ ?
Maybe 2016 is the year of the ‘New You’ fashion range. Maybe it will even come with it’s own scent of perfume and a complimentary Rolls Royce just for show. Or maybe 2016 will be the year of the spoon and melted Hagendaz?
But to put it in the words of Forrest Gump:
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”
So go and dig up those dusty cobwebbed dreams you buried all those years ago! It’s time to prove the world wrong!
(Ironically, you’re going to have to put down that box of chocolates first! Plus, you totally said it in his accent didn’t you? Yeah you did!)
*Note to readers: The last thing the world wants or needs is another New Years post. Because of my own procrastination I began this blog on New Years Eve and have only just put the final strokes to keys as I write this… five days later!