Life is not always greener… as I’m sure many of you have noticed by this point in life, contrary to the fairytale we are brought up being told. By now some things have gone right for you, but most things haven’t. You haven’t gotten that promotion at work, or that dream job. You haven’t retired early to that house in the middle of the countryside that you’ve always wanted. Perhaps you still don’t know what you really want to do, and you see your friends getting married and having children as a sign that you’re internally fucked up; and you hear that little voice in the back of your head saying that you might never get it together. And that if you do, well by that time it’ll probably be too late. By then you’ll be old and alone, with nothing but the tv and the hair protruding from your nose to keep you company. Or maybe I’m wrong. In which case I’d like to invite you to sit down for a chat over coffee. Because if you have the secret formula to happiness… well then, you’d bloody well better share it, because I really haven’t a clue what I’m doing or where I’m going with life. (By the way, seeing as you have it together I hope you’re cool picking up the coffee bill.)
Before I go any further let’s at least get on a first name basis. But seeing as our relationship is new, ( putting it lightly), and I still don’t completely trust you. So for now I’m going incognito and giving you a fake name; a bit like that girl who gave you her number, and then when you called you got a Chinese take away the opposite side of the country… yeah, a bit like that, just a little less sad! So for now, call me John. Ooooh how exciting! Well you can call me what you like, it’s not as if anybody’s going to stop you. And in turn I shall keep referring to you guys as if you’re actually listening to me. Deal?
So then, now that we have established my name where were we… Oh yes! John is the name, I am a 21 year old male, currently living in the beautiful city that is Dublin. (yes I actually like the city I live in, at least that’s a start). In the past 48 hours I have watched 7 movies, put in two 12 hour shifts in bed, and consumed around 9,000 calories i.e. One large pack of cheesy tortilla crisps, one family pack of jellies, a chocolate bar the size of a babies arm, and a large pepperoni pizza… or, breakfast as some of you American’s like to call it! The catalyst for all this was a hard night out on the town with me, myself, and I. Yep that’s right, I went out alone. The end result was me waking up alone at home, in a room that now smelled something like a bar surface after a night of Zambucas and Tequilas.
Now contrary to the image you may have in your head, I am not an overweight guy resembling Jabba the hut! I mean, I didn’t exactly manage to work off those extra mince pies after last Christmas, but that just puts me in the majority! Apart from that, I’m just like every other young man… I watch football and to do guy stuff! That may or may not include the following; running, movies, alcohol, irregularly going to the gym, sitting for long periods on the couch, pondering the meaning of life, and football! It all depends on the day really.
Which brings me on to why I am writing this blog. And the truth is, I’m not completely sure. We’re in an age of tweeting and facebooking, and maybe this just feels a bit more personal. But it’s also because it’s that bit less personal. That you don’t know who I am. That I could be telling you the complete truth or I could be a middle aged house wife with nothing better to do with her days. But whatever the reason is, I think I’ll use this as a place to gather my thoughts and catalogue my attempts to make it in the place that is the big bad world. Who knows… maybe we’ll even have a laugh or two along the way?
But until next time, I’ve a question for you to ponder… Is life really greener on the other side?